Have Aging Parents? Here's How to Use This Site.

Does This Sound Like You?

Imagining your aging parents as senior citizens seems unbelievable. Isn't it too soon to try to talk to your parents about the future? They seem to be in good health, and you hope they'll stay that way forever. You hope they'll always be able to live on their own. You hope they'll always be able to drive. You hope they have enough money to keep up their lifestyle until the end. But "hope is not a plan".

Unfortunately, health and vitality will not always be a given. No matter how healthy your aging parents have always been, they are only one fall, one accident, or one illness away from a serious crisis.

Why talk about the future now?

It will make your life easier.
Trust me.

After 26 years in ordained ministry, I’m the one that gets the calls from families in absolute shambles because they hadn’t planned ahead. Just a few examples of conversations I had after the fact:

• An elderly mom had a heart attack and we couldn’t find any emergency information to contact her adult children.

  I'll share some ways you can help your parents assemble all the information you may need to help them in an emergency. What you need to know and where it should be kept.
  
  
  

• A widowed man in the hospital, unconscious, and no one had a medical power of attorney to make decisions on his behalf.

  Having a medical power of attorney is essential for people of any age, but few people think about what would happen if they couldn't speak from themselves, even temporarily. You'll find information on how to have these conversations, how to choose the person to speak for you, and even alternatives to consider if no immediate family member is available or appropriate.
  
  
  

• Well meaning parents told their kids they had everything handled. And their adult children asked no more questions. But the parents left the family house solely to their youngest daughter, who had mental disabilities. Later, the house was taken by the government because she had received state benefits.

  We'll talk about what to do once your aging parents say "We've taken care of everything." DON'T believe them. Chances are they haven't. There's much more that all of us should do and know to prepare for the future that we've never thought about.
  
  
  

• After Dad’s death, his children were fighting with a stepmother and step-siblings over what happens at the funeral, who’s paying for what, and what’s to happen with the house.

  Over the years our family structures have gotten much more complex. I'll help you step back and look at the big picture. You'll be able to scan the all the family and map out who you should help your parents talk to and what they need to talk about.
  

Why Is Thinking About Their Future So Hard?

First, you may be imagining lots of confusion and tons of work. You know vaguely about wills, trusts, and estate planning. But what’s the difference between a power of attorney, a durable power of attorney, and a durable power of attorney for health care? And who has time to find out?

Second, you have many, many questions, and you believe you SHOULD know all the answers already, so who wants to look foolish, and spend too much money consulting experts for basic things.

Finally, even though you know the reality of the future, you don't even want to begin to think about their death.

But, it's also the time between now and then that puts terror in your heart.

- Will you really be able to handle what's next?

- How will you manage with everything else on your plate?

- Will you have to do it all alone?

- Will your aging parents fiercely resist every offer of your help?

- Is this just the beginning of one long conflict between you, your elderly parents, and your siblings?

Who Else Are You Responsible For?

Now, there is an even more difficult conversation to have with senior citizen parents. If you have a sibling with special needs, are you confident that you understand their living and financial provisions for the future? Do you have elderly aunts and uncles, who you may ultimately be responsible for? How much do you know about their advance planning?

Don't Go Through It Alone

Before you are completely overwhelmed at the thought of managing all this -- STOP. Know that you've come to the right place. Even if you don't know the answer to any of these questions, we'll help you figure out how and where to start. Issue by issue, question by question, you'll gain the skills so you can build a plan WITH your parents and your siblings. Thinking about your aging parents' future won't leave you in total panic any more. You won't be in danger of putting it off until after the crisis, when all of the options will be bad. With the help of the resources provided here, your talks and plans with your beloved senior citizens can flow with ease.

Join Us

We are building a community of folks who are, or will soon be, having these conversations with their aging parents. You'll find:

• INFORMATION and RESOURCES about a wide range of topics related to senior citizens.
  
• AUDIO INTERVIEWS with experts who specialize in senior services.
  
• participate in TELECLASSES (classes by telephone) with other people who have the same questions and fears.
  

Almost everything provided here will be shaped by your questions about your aging parents and how to plan for their needs as senior citizens. Please take the time to CLICK HERE and ASK your most pressing question. The answers to your questions form the basis of our online ezine/ newsletter Talk With Aging Parents. Your questions will also help us choose which resources and interviews to offer next. You'll be asked for your first name and your email address when you subscribe to the newsletter. (Don't worry, this will be kept private.)

JOIN US in making this a vibrant community to offer support for as long as you need. Children of aging parents unite! The conversation is just beginning...