Your Aging Parents are Now
Time to Talk About the Future.
Don't Wait Until After the Crisis
Does This Sound Like You?
Imagining your aging parents as senior citizens seems unbelievable. Isn't it too soon to try to talk to your parents about the future? They seem to be in good health, and you hope they'll stay that way forever. You hope they'll always be able to live on their own. You hope they'll always be able to drive. You hope they have enough money to keep up their lifestyle until the end. But "hope is not a plan".
Unfortunately, health and vitality will not always be a given. No matter how healthy your aging parents have always been, they are only one fall, one accident, or one illness away from a serious crisis.
Why talk about the future now?
It will make your life easier.
During 28 years of ordained ministry, I’m the one that gets the calls from families in absolute shambles because they hadn’t planned ahead. Just a few examples of conversations I had after the fact:
- An elderly mom had a heart attack and we couldn’t find any emergency information to contact her adult children.
I'll share some ways you can help your parents assemble all the information you may need to help them in an emergency. What you need to know and where it should be kept.
- A widowed man in the hospital, unconscious, and no one had a medical power of attorney to make decisions on his behalf.
Having a medical power of attorney is essential for people of any age, but few people think about what would happen if they couldn't speak from themselves, even temporarily. You'll find information on how to have these conversations, how to choose the person to speak for you, and even alternatives to consider if no immediate family member is available or appropriate.
- Well meaning parents told their kids they had everything handled. And their adult children asked no more questions. But the parents left the family house solely to their youngest daughter, who had mental disabilities. Later, the house was taken by the government because she had received state benefits.
We'll talk about what to do once your aging parents say "We've taken care of everything." DON'T believe them. Chances are they haven't. There's much more that all of us should do and know to prepare for the future that we've never thought about.
- After Dad’s death, his children were fighting with a stepmother and step-siblings over what happens at the funeral, who’s paying for what, and what’s to happen with the house.
Over the years our family structures have gotten much more complex. I'll help you step back and look at the big picture. You'll be able to scan the all the family and map out who you should help your parents talk to and what they need to talk about.
Why Is Thinking About Their Future So Hard?
First, you may be imagining lots of confusion and tons of work. You know vaguely about wills, trusts, and estate planning. But what’s the difference between a power of attorney, a durable power of attorney, and a durable power of attorney for health care? And who has time to find out?
Second, you have many, many questions, and you believe you SHOULD know all the answers already, so who wants to look foolish, and spend too much money consulting experts for basic things.
Finally, even though you know the reality of the future, you don't even want to begin to think about their death.
But, it's also the time between now and then that puts terror in your heart.
- Will you really be able to handle what's next?
- How will you manage with everything else on your plate?
- Will you have to do it all alone?
- Will your aging parents fiercely resist every offer of your help?
- Is this just the beginning of one long conflict between you, your elderly parents, and your siblings?
Who Else Are You Responsible For?
Now, there is an even more difficult conversation to have with senior citizen parents. If you have a sibling with special needs, are you confident that you understand their living and financial provisions for the future? Do you have elderly aunts and uncles, who you may ultimately be responsible for? How much do you know about their advance planning?
Don't Go Through It Alone
Before you are completely overwhelmed at the thought of managing all this -- STOP. Know that you've come to the right place. Even if you don't know the answer to any of these questions, we'll help you figure out how and where to start. Issue by issue, question by question, you'll gain the skills so you can build a plan WITH your parents and your siblings. Thinking about your aging parents' future won't leave you in total panic any more. You won't be in danger of putting it off until after the crisis, when all of the options will be bad. With the help of the resources provided here, your talks and plans with your beloved senior citizens can flow with ease.
We are building a community of folks who are, or will soon be, having these conversations with their aging parents. You'll find:
- INFORMATION and RESOURCES about a wide range of topics related to senior citizens.
- AUDIO INTERVIEWS with experts who specialize in senior services.
- participate in TELECLASSES (classes by telephone) with other people who have the same questions and fears.
Almost everything provided here will be shaped by your questions about your aging parents and how to plan for their needs as senior citizens. Please take the time to CLICK HERE and ASK your most pressing question. The answers to your questions form the basis of our online ezine/ newsletter Talk With Aging Parents. Your questions will also help us choose which resources and interviews to offer next. You'll be asked for your first name and your email address when you subscribe to the newsletter. (Don't worry, this will be kept private.)
JOIN US in making this a vibrant community to offer support for as long as you need. Children of aging parents unite! The conversation is just beginning...
- Your Aging Parents Blog
- Want the latest tips on how to start conversations with your aging parents about the future? Subscribe to this RSS/blog and get help.
- How to Talk to Elderly Parents About the Future
- How to talk to elderly parents about the future. 5 steps that will shift your expectations.
- Essential Family Communication with and about Aging Parents
- Family communication surrounding aging parents is vital, and often difficult. How to develop new family communication skills and improve the future.
- Plan for Special Needs Adults with Aging Parents
- Special needs adults and their future care are of great concern for aging parents. How to talk to your elderly parents about planning for siblings with special needs.
- Sandwich Generation: talk to your children about grandparents' aging
- The sandwich generation: help your children learn to deal with their aging grandparents
- New Senior Adult Ministries for your congregation
- New approaches to senior adult ministries for your congregation. Expand seniors ministry to the community.
- Why Advance Directives need more than a signed document to be compelling
- Advance Directives need more than a signed document. Who needs to have the conversations with your aging parents? What do they need to talk about? How do you start the talks?
- Emergency Information
- How to collect and prepare essential emergency information for your aging parents
- End of life planning with your aging parents.
- Begin to talk about end of life planning with aging parents. Estate planning, advance directives, finances, their pets? What do you need to know?
- Your Retirement Financial Planning can't be done without talking to aging parent
- Your Retirement Financial Planning can only be done after talking to your elderly parents. How to talk to your aging parents about their finances so you can avoid surprises and plan for any contributi
- Celebrate holidays with elderly parents near or far
- Celebrate holidays with elderly parents, whether you visit or are far away. Use the time to check on their well-being. What should you talk about? What should you look for and listen for? How do
- Pets and senior citizens - How to talk to your parents about their future
- Pets and senior citizens give great benefits to each other. But you must talk to your aging parents about a plan to care for those beloved pets if they can’t someday in the future.
- Helping senior drivers, your aging parents, decide when to stop driving
- How to help senior drivers in your life choose when it's time to stop driving...and preserve the peace!
- Quality seniors housing choices require advance planning with your aging parent
- Today, seniors housing choices are abundant - senior citizen apartments, senior care housing, aging-in-place? How to talk to aging parents.
- Make Senior Safety a Priority for Your Aging Parents
- Make senior safety a priority for your aging parents. Learn to talk to them about elder safety -- in the home and in the community. There are new safety risks for senior citizens.
- Spirituality and aging: valuable discussions with elderly parents
- Spirituality and aging - How do you have deeper conversations with elderly parents? What are their lessons and legacy? What can life review teach you about the future?
- DTV Transition and Senior Citizens in Your Life
- The DTV Transition and Senior Citizens will have a hard time making peace. The change to Digital television is coming, but seniors are the least prepared. How to make sure your aging parents are ready
- Understand the Alzheimers Brain and What to do next
- The alzheimers brain is one of the most frightening things families can imagine. You may fear for your parents, you may fear for yourself. Understand what's happening then learn what to do.
- Brain fitness is vital for your aging parent.
- Brain Fitness is the key to keeping your aging parents at their best for as long as possible. What we thought about the decline of aging brains is fiction. Aging brains continue to learn and grow unti
- Senior exercise gives unexpected benefits: get senior fitness routines
- Why senior exercise may be the key for your parents to regain aging fitness of body, brain, and spirit.
- Talk about Senior Health Care Issues with your aging parents
- How to talk to your elderly parents about senior health care issues
- Recommended books to help aging parents
- Recommended books for children of aging parents
- Research senior citizen services state by state
- Senior citizen services can be researched early in your state as part of elder life planning.
- Arthritis Aids - Extend Your Parent's Freedom with Independent Living Aids
- Recommended Arthritis Aids to preserve your parents' freedom and independence.
- Gifts for Seniors for Every Occasion
- Gifts for seniors are some of the hardest decisions to make. What could they use? What would they enjoy? Find great ideas for your aging parents for every occasion and ability.
- Independent Living Aids: Maintain Freedom and Self-reliance
- Independent Living Aids are vital to help our aging parents maintain their lives with as much freedom and self-reliance as possible. Here are some of the most helpful suggestions.
- Media Page - Dale Susan Edmonds, Family Communication Coaching
- Media page - Contact Rev. Dale Susan Edmonds, Family Communication Coaching, for a radio or television interview: How to Talk to Aging Parents about the Future
- Radio Special Offer
- Radio Special Offer for listeners to our Radio and Podcast Interviews. What to Talk About First With Aging Parents
- Ask About Aging Parents
- Come here to ask about aging parents. Share your most pressing questions. You'll get your answers in expert interviews, and newsletter articles.
- Meet Dale Susan Edmonds, Family Communication Coach with Aging Parents
- About Dale - Meet Rev. Dale Susan Edmonds, Family Communication Coach.
- Talk With Aging Parents Subscription Page
- Newsletter for answers to your questions and to get tips for talking to your aging parents about the future.
- Contact Me
- Contact me, Dale Susan Edmonds, Family Communication Coach, with questions about your aging parents